I’m Fine…

freaked outI’m fine!

How many times have I used these two words to stop a conversation!  Oh, about a million zillion!  Lol

Have you ever seen the movie “The Italian Job?”   So, we were channel surfing the other night, and we’re like,

“Hey, what movie is this?”

Anything that has Mark Walburg is in has to be kinda funny..

Anyway, the scene we were watching seriously caught my attention.  A group of people were in a van getting their “spy ware” on.  The girl was about to go undercover as a Cable TV repair woman in a gangster’s house.  As she was getting her things together, one of the guys says… “Are you ok?”   They were all super nervous, and there was no way she was okay…

Duhh… LOL She’s going in a gangster’s house!

But in typical woman  form, ( forgive me if you are not like this)  she super quickly bites back,  “I’m fine..”  They all stop.  The camera shows each guy looking at her.. all not comfortable with her response…   Mark Walburg, (huge fan:)) says…

“You know what that means don’t you?”

The tension is released as she smiles and shakes her head nervously and repeats with


Freaked out




“F I N E”

My inner bratyness was like, whoa!

It’s like putting your hand out and shouting STOP talking to me!

I am freaking out, and I don’t want to talk to YOU about it…

I immediately felt convicted of how that must make my husband feel.. Just like in the scene from the movie; whenever, “I’m fine“,  it is totally obvious I am not fine at all! Lol I am obviously Freaked out  about something… super Insecure because for some reason I just want to protect myself, and definitely Emotional because I just want to be alone, and neurotic  because I don’t know how to respond to the situation that is penetrating my mind!

And my husband just wants to love me…

 I don’t want to do that anymore..  Walls are built with our words.  They can draw us to each other for comfort and support, or they can push us away. The person on the other end of the  “Fine” is left in the cold… pushed away and felt not to be important… Ouch!  Loving other’s as ourselves means just that… I don’t want to feel pushed away, or standing naked or vulnerable in isolation from someone I love… especially when I know they are hurting, that’s just mean….

Okay…. I got this! :)

 It seems like when I am hurt, convicted or vulnerable.. I am FINE…

Which means, I am not “fine” at all!  Hahaha  and the other person, who loves me, already knows I am not fine… so who am I kidding! Lol!!!

Oh, Lord, help me today to use my words to bring love, hope and harmony… I am so thankful that you opened my eyes, and my heart to how hurtful those two little words can be to the people I love… It is my heart’s desire to be beautiful in Your eyes.. and that is not so beautiful… Lol

Feeling much better to get that off my chest!

I love You so much, Jesus, your beauty and grace give music to my heart..

In Jesus Name,


Ephesians 5:29  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness rage and anger, brawling and slander , along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another…”

Psalm 119: 171-172  “May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees.  May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.”

Live in Love,


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